Please note

This pattern is currently only available to my Utter Nonsense and Rampant Nonsense patrons and to folks who preordered my knitted bacon kit. You can see the bacon in some of the pictures. Both the bacon pattern and the egg pattern will be available more generally in early October 2025. If you’d like to make it in the meantime, wander over to patreon and we’ll make that happen!

You don’t need this. It is not for anything. It serves absolutely no practical purpose. There is no scenario in which this ridiculous little bit of frivolity is anything other than a brief, absurd distraction from the various horrors of the outside world.

All it does is exist. And perhaps, by existing, it brings you or someone you know a tiny moment of joy. Because while it is utterly without practical function, it does seem to hit that button that some of us have in our heads labeled ‘ooooh, I knit a thing that looks like a different thing, and this amuses me.’

So if you have that button (or if you knit things for someone who does), you just might enjoy this. And while you absolutely positively for sure don’t actually need it, I very much hope you will enjoy it!

General information

This detailed pattern tells you exactly how to make these delightful fried eggs. It walks you through everything from casting on, shaping your yolk, getting the perfect shape to your whites, and blocking your finished egg as well as giving detailed information on how to scale this up to make something like a pillow or even a blanket. The pattern is reassuringly thorough (with pages of step-by-step photos showing every part of the process), and you can absolutely make this, even if you’ve never done a project like this before!

Skills & scope

The knitting is about as simple as it gets (it’s nearly all stockinette in the round with just a few optional short rows to give it some shape). This makes absolutely delightful autopilot knitting.

Yarn, gauge & sizing

These are adorable at any size, so you don’t need to worry about getting a specific gauge. As long as you’re getting a fabric you like, you’re getting a good gauge.

I made my eggs with a variety of fingering, sport, and dk-weight scraps. My eggs are between 3.5 and 4.5 inches across (pretty much exactly the size of a chicken egg). Each took less than 100 yards of yarn. 

If you’re currently dreaming of an egg pillow or even a blanket made out of the bulkiest yarn you can find, there’s nothing stopping you! Though you’ll want more yarn.

Tools & supplies

You’ll need needles that let you work in the round (circulars or DPNs) in whatever size lets you get a solid fabric with your chosen yarn plus the general knitting tools you need for most projects (scissors to cut your yarn, a darning needle to weave in ends, a stitch marker if you like to use one to keep track of the start of your round). You’ll also want some sort of little disc (a coin, a lid, a piece of plastic cut into a circle) to go in the yolk.