This pattern is retired and not usually available. However, I make many of my retired patterns available for a few days twice a year, and this is one of those times! It will be available from now through some time on Monday, December 2. Then it will go away again.

In the summer of 2022, I realized that I found maintaining a back catalog of hundreds of patterns overwhelming. I couldn’t do it and still release new things. So I took my old patterns down so I could keep doing new work.

A few favorites have come back, and lots of new things have come out! But the vast majority of the old patterns are retired and are no longer generally available.

However, enough folks have asked about old favorites that I make many of the retired patterns available for a few days twice a year (usually in early summer and around Thanksgiving).

• If you see the buy buttons on this page, you’ve caught it on one of the days it’s available!
• If you don’t see the buy buttons on this page, then it’s not currently available.
• If you want to hear when the retired patterns are available, subscribe to the mailing list or patreon, or keep an eye on my instagram.

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Does anyone actually need these? Nope. Not at all. Not one single person. They are completely absurd and serve absolutely no practical purpose whatsoever.

But is there someone out there who wants them? Who will be delighted by them? Who will have their day made better by them? Who will be amused to no end by them? I sort of suspect the answer is a resounding yes!

And if that person is you (or someone you make things for), I invite you to join me in embracing the absurd and enjoying a small indulgence.

What to do with the sweet, silly little things:

• String them on ribbon or twine and use them as bunting or a garland or a mobile
• Use them as party favors or table decorations at your next party
• Add some catnip and use them as a cat toy (be sure to read the notes in the pattern about stuffing and sprinkles if you’re giving them to pets or kids)
• Add them to your favorite kiddo’s play kitchen (be sure to read the notes in the pattern about stuffing and sprinkles if you’re giving them to pets or kids)
• Fill them with dried beans or rice and use them as microwaveable hand warmers (be sure to read the notes in the pattern if you’re putting them in the microwave).
• Add a rattle insert and use one as a baby toy (be sure to read the notes in the pattern about stuffing and sprinkles if you’re giving them to pets or kids)
• Use them as pattern weights on your next sewing project
• Use them as a pin cusion

Your imagination is the limit here. I suspect you already have a whole host of ideas for exactly how you could use a few of these!

The pattern is tremendously detailed and holds your hand every step of the way. The hardest decision will be what flavor to make!

The knitting is easy. It’s almost all stockinette in the round with just a few carefully placed increases and decreases and one tiny graft at the end to make it take shape.

You don’t need any special equipment to make them, just yarn, whatever needles you like for working in the round (circs or dpns as you prefer), and something to stuff them with (I used weighted pellets, but stuffing works great too). And if you want sprinkles, you’ll want either beads or embroidery floss. I’ve got a big blog post over here with links to all the stuff I used if you want to read more.

And just in case you’re feeling a bit nervous, the pattern includes a lengthy photo tutorial to walk you through every step of the process (including the bit where you pop it into shape and feel like an absolute wizard). There are all sorts of helpful tips on everything from how to cast on to what to fill them with to how to block them to when to weave in your ends. It’s almost absurdly detailed, but it really does mean you can totally make these!

These are perfect for you if:

• You need something cheerful and quick
• You have a jar of yarn leftovers you’ve been wanting to do something with
• You’re already thinking of all the things you could do with these

These are not for you if:

• You’re looking for a somber, serious project
• You don’t like charts (the pattern uses charts)