This pattern is retired and not usually available. However, I make many of my retired patterns available for a few days twice a year, and this is one of those times! It will be available from now through some time on Monday, December 2. Then it will go away again.

In the summer of 2022, I realized that I found maintaining a back catalog of hundreds of patterns overwhelming. I couldn’t do it and still release new things. So I took my old patterns down so I could keep doing new work.

A few favorites have come back, and lots of new things have come out! But the vast majority of the old patterns are retired and are no longer generally available.

However, enough folks have asked about old favorites that I make many of the retired patterns available for a few days twice a year (usually in early summer and around Thanksgiving).

• If you see the buy buttons on this page, you’ve caught it on one of the days it’s available!
• If you don’t see the buy buttons on this page, then it’s not currently available.
• If you want to hear when the retired patterns are available, subscribe to the mailing list or patreon, or keep an eye on my instagram.

Needled verb teased, provoked, incited to action by repeated jibes

I am concerned that if I admit how much I love these, someone will show up at my house and take away my Proper, Respectable Grownup card. Then again, I’m not sure being a proper grown up has brought me much joy, and these ridiculous things fill me with an unspeakable delight, so maybe that wouldn’t be too bad.

I strongly suspect you may find them just as irresistible!

What to do with the sweet, silly little things:

• Knit one and hang it from your christmas tree
• Knit a bunch and use them for your ornament swap
• Knit a whole forest of them and cover your mantel or bookshelf
• Add them to your christmas village
• Add them to your favorite kiddo’s play set

Your imagination is the limit here. I suspect you already have a whole host of ideas for exactly how you could use a few of these!

The pattern is tremendously detailed and gives you lots of variations (with a trunk, without a trunk, with beads, without beads) and suggestions for experimentation (add some mohair to give them a snowy look, embroider on some ornaments, fill them with something that smells amazing).

This is easy knitting (it’s nearly all stockinette in the round, and it’s about as many stitches as a good sized swatch), and you can probably make one of these in an afternoon.

The only special equipment you’ll need is something to stuff them with (roving, polyester stuffing, even cotton balls if you’re in a pinch) and some flat plastic you can cut with scissors (think the side milk gallon or the bottom of a yogurt container or the lid of a takeout container…don’t stress over this, you’ve almost certainly got something in your recycle bin or your kitchen that will work perfectly).

And just in case you’re feeling a bit nervous, the pattern includes a lengthy photo tutorial to walk you through every step of the process. There are all sorts of helpful tips on everything from what to fill them with to how to block them to how and when to weave in your ends. It’s almost absurdly detailed, but it really does mean you can totally make these!

These are perfect for you if:

• You’re pretty sure being a proper, respectable grownup is overrated anyway
• You just now realized you could use a whole forest of tiny knitted trees growing up all around your house

They’re not for you if:

• You are very fond of being a proper, respectable grownup and don’t want to risk anyone thinking you’re something else
• You don’t like charts (the pattern uses charts)