Are there buy buttons on the side of the page? If so, you've caught this pattern on one of the handful of days every year when it's available! If not, read on for details of where it went and what to do if you want to be notified the next time it's available.

A few years ago I got overwhelmed by my back catalog, retired most of my earlier work, and launched Tiny Nonsense. That gave me space to make Cool New Stuff! But some people missed the earlier things, so I make many of the retired patterns available for a few days once or twice a year.

• If you see the buy buttons on this page, you’ve caught it on one of the days it’s available! You can buy it just like usual.

• If you don’t see the buy buttons on this page, then it’s not currently available. It will probably be available the week after Thanksgiving and for a few days in June or July.

• If you want to hear when the retired patterns come back, subscribe to the mailing list or patreon, or keep an eye on my instagram.

Needled verb teased, provoked, incited to action by repeated jibes

I am concerned that if I admit how much I love these, someone will show up at my house and take away my Proper, Respectable Grownup card. Then again, I’m not sure being a proper grown up has brought me much joy, and these ridiculous things fill me with an unspeakable delight, so maybe that wouldn’t be too bad.

I strongly suspect you may find them just as irresistible!

What to do with the sweet, silly little things:

• Knit one and hang it from your christmas tree
• Knit a bunch and use them for your ornament swap
• Knit a whole forest of them and cover your mantel or bookshelf
• Add them to your christmas village
• Add them to your favorite kiddo’s play set

Your imagination is the limit here. I suspect you already have a whole host of ideas for exactly how you could use a few of these!

The pattern is tremendously detailed and gives you lots of variations (with a trunk, without a trunk, with beads, without beads) and suggestions for experimentation (add some mohair to give them a snowy look, embroider on some ornaments, fill them with something that smells amazing).

This is easy knitting (it’s nearly all stockinette in the round, and it’s about as many stitches as a good sized swatch), and you can probably make one of these in an afternoon.

The only special equipment you’ll need is something to stuff them with (roving, polyester stuffing, even cotton balls if you’re in a pinch) and some flat plastic you can cut with scissors (think the side milk gallon or the bottom of a yogurt container or the lid of a takeout container…don’t stress over this, you’ve almost certainly got something in your recycle bin or your kitchen that will work perfectly).

And just in case you’re feeling a bit nervous, the pattern includes a lengthy photo tutorial to walk you through every step of the process. There are all sorts of helpful tips on everything from what to fill them with to how to block them to how and when to weave in your ends. It’s almost absurdly detailed, but it really does mean you can totally make these!

These are perfect for you if:

• You’re pretty sure being a proper, respectable grownup is overrated anyway
• You just now realized you could use a whole forest of tiny knitted trees growing up all around your house

They’re not for you if:

• You are very fond of being a proper, respectable grownup and don’t want to risk anyone thinking you’re something else
• You don’t like charts (the pattern uses charts)