Cheerleaders, tennis socks, roller skate puff­-­balls, those tempting tail tufts of Playboy Bunny uniforms. Something about the fluffy wiggle and bounce of pom­-­poms is both mesmerizing and stimulating. Maybe it’s a mutant genetic impulse, a confused modern evolutionary trigger. Heck, mating and subsequent parenthood itself may well be driven by the subconscious impulse to surround oneself with all those pom­-­pom­-­studded baby duds. Who ­knows?
Add to that theory too much wine, my favorite marabou hair poms, and a Britney Spears doll, and I got to wondering: Would festooning my underwear with pompoms make me the ultimate cutsiepoo sex magnet? Thus the Not That Innocent bralet and panties were born. They’re knit of stretch cotton yarn for a soft matte finish and extra cling, with dangling fun fur pom­-­poms that create so much darn cuteness you could scream. If you want to go absolutely nuts, knit up a pair of matching Kinderwhore knee socks or Lolita sock garters and festoon those with pom­-­poms as well. And as long as you’re crossing the line, you may as well make a couple extras ones for your ­ponytails.
Oops.